Love, Life & Death

Its quarter to 12, midnight, Sunday. The recent incidents in my life and the longing desire to be with my loved ones is making it hard for me to sleep comfortably. Took the key, rode a good 20km stopped at a place on the road side chai bandi. I don’t usually drink tea or coffee. The cold weather I’m riding in, made me sip one today. Now, The much needed sleep is gone for a toss for good after that coffee and ride.

As much as I would like not to keep thinking about things which have gone past me, I can’t help but look back and have a pity smile on myself while having the coffee.  Just so that you know, I have been staying away from my home past 7 years for no good or sensible reason. Not that I haven’t been there in the mean time at all. But still, I’ve never got the point of staying away from my loved ones whom I know of and who care for me. We always thought keeping me away from TV and close to books would benefit my ‘career’. I know at 23, a guy should have grownup enough to stop complaining about such things. But still, at some point of time in your life, you would have stayed away from your home and felt sad about it. It’s just for a brief amount of time.

My mom is the best chef I’ve ever known of till know. My dad is my hero who has taught me a ton of different things. My sister, well.. You know how sisters are.. The hard time they give us, the wishes they make, the fights you have. Yeah, I know you’d have pretty much experienced the same love shown on you. If it’s just this love that makes my life happy, I don’t see any change in it even if I’ve not changed the course of my life, choosing to stay away from home. So there’s something other than that.

I have done my B.tech in Hyderabad. The city of pearls and potholes. Although it’d be a whole different topic to talk about, I just think, it is this city that gave me some good memories with my friends and my cousins. I’ve been staying in a hostel with the same people past few years, I feel this has become a home away from home. Although the food here constantly proves it wrong every time I go down to eat. I planned to save some money and buy my motorcycle, it never happened. My dad gifted me the machine I have today, I overheard him say to my mom, “let him have all the fun I have missed to have in his age”. I haven’t given a penny till now to my dad or my mom from my earnings. Yeah, that’s sad. I know money is just a means to get things done. My dad taught me it’s the experiences and the memories that matter, at least for the time being.

What if you don’t wake up tomorrow after your sleep? We never think that way. We think there’s always more time for us. But the truth is we never know. Physics is a bitch. It can over turn my bike when the front wheel is going over a rough patch while I’m doing 80 into that sweet corner. My LS2 might not be sufficient to take that kind of a hit. Or my spine is always not protected. Only then do we get reminded of those recent moments we spent with our family laughing over something at the dinner table or you stealing off that favorite sweet from the kitchen or you pulling your sisters hair or your crush to whom you should’ve proposed a long time ago. I don’t have enough of these memories. You would’ve probably not had enough of them. It’s simple, we will never have enough of them.

As you can clearly see, this post is going nowhere that makes some sense. I will go to my office tomorrow, just talk with my family over phone as always. Tell some petty little lies to them roaming around with friends. Each one of us live in a different set of constraints. I don’t have enough time to live life one day at a time. I don’t know if I’ll die with a smile over my face, I don’t know if anyone of us will ever. One thing I know for sure is we’ll all Live, Love and Die. Yeah, the title of this post should also be changed.

It’s 3am, morning, Monday. I’m on my bed trying to sleep.

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